On The Eve Of Destruction
Guys, guys, guys. I am tired of guys messaging me on the various dating sites to just hook up. The ones that message looking to hit and quit it, expecting me to rock on. The ones that think that I will fall for it because I’m a big girl and couldn’t get a guy any other way. The ones that think I have no self-esteem.
He showed me. He sent the unsolicited d@#$ pics. And on top of that he lied about his age. I know age is just a number, but it was still a lie and when it came out I could understand why he was so immature.
Another guy that thinks I have the word easy tattooed across my forehead.
I didn't say anything else to him. Usually I go off on them, but since I get so many of these, I just say can't get mad anymore. Have a nice day and block.
I might be a big girl. But I have way more self-worth than they do in their little finger. I know my worth and I am not going to fall for bullshit and slip into bed with them. I care about myself to let myself stoop that low.
I can fix fat, you can’t fix stupid. I have good qualities and someday some guy will appreciate me for me and not make me compromise my morals and values.
Everyone else. I’m tired of being there for everyone and when I need someone, no one is there. While I think highly of myself, I do think that if I disappeared no one would care.
I have my highs and lows. Some days are good and some are not. When it’s bad, I used to self-destruct.
I am now using my grief, anger, hurt, and love to turn it in to a positive.
Remember who you are. You are worth so much than you think. See the beauty in small things. Sometimes taking a breath and looking around, you appreciate the world more.
Find a hobby. I choose to write or do crafts or scrapbook. Channel all those angry feelings into something that will come out beautiful. Paint, knit, take a boxing class, assemble weapons, go to the range, whatever tickles your fancy. But let the anger and hurt go. I know it’s hard, believe me. But once you let go, you can move on. And that means letting go of negative people in your life as well, even if it hurts.
As for dating, love yourself before others love you. Things happen for a reason and we might never know that reason. I might be tired, but I’m not out.
It’s always darkest before the dawn.