“First things, I’m the realest.” Why can’t we have normal conversations anymore? What happened to “hey how’s it going?” “It’s going.” When did making conversation jump to here is a pic of my D@!$ or here are my boobs. I’m just saying….
I get that online dating is somewhat unconventional. It’s not everyone’s cup of tea. But in this cruel world, its becoming the norm. And as you scroll through the countless suitors, one catches your eye.
DO NOT GIVE HIM OR HER YOUR LIFE STORY IN THE FIRST MESSAGE. Also, don’t embellish. I once had a guy tell me all the things I wanted to hear. He talked about going to the gym every day, he had tattoos (a weakness), he had a job. He said all the things I wanted to hear. I want a guy that takes care of himself, is employed, and seems like a good guy. He sent me a picture and I was weak in the knees. I was in heaven. I was also in denial, this couldn’t be happening. How was I able to score a great guy? And then the date happened. My friend drove me to meet him in Savannah, GA. I was stationed at Fort Stewart at the time. I was so nervous. My friend even offered me anxiety medication. I turned it down. And then he showed up. He looked nothing like the picture. He probably never spent a day in the gym. And he didn’t have a car. And he lied about a job. I know the whole gym thing might sound a little crass. I’m not a skinny girl by any means and I struggle every day with my weight, but I at least try. I will give him this, he had balls to show up, knowing he lied. And to top it off, I had to pay for lunch. My friend had to stay because I had no way of getting home. So, guys and gals, please don’t embellish. Keep it real. Just say “hi”, maybe comment on one of his or her interests. And see what happens.
I hate the messages from guys that contain their life story and its usually an embellished sob story, trying to gain my sympathy. Maybe you did have a hard life. Some of us have, but I’m not going to give out all of that to someone I don’t know. I find it fake. I also hate the ones that lie about losing their wife or having cancer. Yes, that happens. If it is true, then I’m truly sorry. But I find that some just say things to guilt girls in to feeling sorry for them and get a date. And usually I can catch them in that lie later on. I can’t elaborate, it just is a feeling I get. And when I question some things, they start to trip on their words. Just be honest like I said in Blog 4.
Keep the conversation light and never give out your phone number. Don’t join KIK either. KIK is a text app. Most guys want you to join it. To me that seems impersonal, like they are hiding something. These are ways that guys get your personal info for scams. Most dating websites have a chat option. Use it. If the guy gets upset that you don’t want to give out your number, or join a text app, move on. Plenty of fish in the sea.
If they give out their number in the first, initial message, delete it. Or tell them you only give out your info when you feel comfortable. Any decent guy will understand.
I just had the perfect conversation with a guy. A real gentleman. And yes, we are going on a date. It started with a “hey there” and it lead to me actually feeling so comfortable, that I did give him my phone number. It took a couple days and he understood. That’s the kind of man or woman you are looking for.
Have a normal conversation, whatever your normal is. Just be careful and not jump into anything too soon. This is finding the man or woman that completes you, not picking out a dress or shirt. It takes time to find someone that you feel passionate about, the man or woman that lights your fire.
Be patient. You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your version of a prince.